Betting the Entire NCAA Tournament

I got away from writing up my picks during the season because 1) I felt like a broken record and 2) I stunk. For the sake of transparency, on the season I was 92-86-2 for -1.8u. Not bad, but not terrible. I'm back now and betting the entire first round as the lines open because, why not? I don't recommend playing all of these, just use them as a quick guide to getting rich. I'm also writing this on Sunday night, so these lines will probably move around a bit. Let's do it.

First Four

Southeast Missouri State +4.0 is probably the easiest pick in the entire tournament. As someone who's watched a lot of their games, the energy they play with is tough to keep up with. They share the ball really well and are incredibly disciplined defensively. Just kidding, I don't even know where Southeast Missouri is. Give me the points, though.

It's kind of a sick joke that they're making me watch Mississippi State in prime time before the tournament really kicks off. It's like they're dangling the carrot out in front of me but it's not a carrot at all and it's actually a big candy corn that leaves you with a gross taste in your mouth. Bulldogs -2.0, I guess.

Give me Texas Southern -2.5. Now that the Bryant Bulldogs are done, the NEC is a garbage conference, and FDU didn't even win it. That's a joke.

Given the opportunity, always bet on a Hurley. Arizona State -2.5.

Thursday

When I think of West Virginia, I think of pure chaos. I thrive on chaos. I like the Mountaineers -2.0.

Virginia is sputtering at the wrong time. Furman +5.5.

Missouri is another chaotic team. Kobe Brown is a monster, and I've never seen Utah State play. Can't even be sure they're a real team. Mizzou +2.5.

I'll take Howard +22.5? I don't know. How does anybody handicap at 20+ point game?

Charleston is a team that will probably be a popular upset pick. They won over 30 games, so it's more than warranted. The Aztecs just have so much length, experience, and solid depth. I think that's enough to put them over the top. SDSU -4.5

Arizona -13.5 vs. Princeton. Nerds can't play basketball.

Arkansas and Illinois is one of the harder games to pick. Illinois has talent in Terrence Shannon, Matthew Mayer, and Coleman Hawkins. The issue is, they don't have a true point guard. Jayden Epps is an off-ball guard acting as a point and doing so admirably, but I'm not sure a freshman ball-handler will be able to handle the Arkansas defense. I'll take Arkansas -3.0 for that reason.

Auburn and Iowa will be an absolute track meet. I've told just about anyone who will listen how bad I think both of these teams are. I don't know who's teaching economics for the teams, but the ball is not something that's valued properly in those programs. Auburn -1.0, but I'd pick both teams to lose if I could.

Oral Roberts will probably be a trendy upset pick, but Duke is peaking at the right time. Seven is a fairly large spread, but I'll fade the public and take Duke to cover. Blue Devils -7.0.

Somebody said Colgate was under-seeded, so I'm taking Colgate. I like Texas as a potential national champion pick, but I'll Colgate +14.0.

Northwestern is absolutely fraudulent. Boo Buie and Chase Audiege are the entire team. The Big Ten will probably be exposed yet again. Boise State -1.5.

Houston is the one seed who will win by 50. Cougars -20.0.

Tennessee is favored by double digits against Louisiana. This game might not reach triple digits. I'll take the points in a rock fight. Louisiana +10.5.

I watched Penn State play Purdue, and didn't see A&M against Alabama on Sunday. Originally, I was going to take Penn State, but then realized that was just recency bias. Don't be afraid to fade yourself. Aggies -3.0.

UNC Ashville +19.0 against UCLA. Sure.

*Exhale*

Friday

USC is dealing with some injuries and hasn't really had a cohesive season. I feel like Jon Rothstein is tweeting about a new USC player being a game-time decision. Tyson Walker took a step back one time that looked just like Kemba Walker, so I've talked myself into Michigan State. MSU -1.5.

I don't know where Kennesaw State is. Xavier -12.0.

Baylor has great scorers in the backcourt, and that's what matters in March. They're also the type to run it up. Baylor -11.0.

VCU vs. Saint Mary's is going to be a chore to watch. If you like missed jumpers, that's the game for you. I'll take the Rams +3.5. It's an east coast game, did someone say a little VCU moneyline action as well?

Marquette has been my title pick for quite some time, but for some reason, I have a bad feeling about this game against UVM. UVM doesn't really blow you away, but they play methodically, take care of the ball, and are solid on defense. I think they can keep it close. Catamounts +11.5.

NC State doesn't play a lick of defense. I'm honestly not even sure how they got in the field. Clemson was better, in my opinion. Creighton runs away with it. Blue Jays -5.0.

Neither of these teams have to go very far with the game being played in Albany, although it will almost certainly be a UConn crowd. Rick Pitino already has a foot out the door as he makes his way back into the Big East. Maybe his experience is enough to keep this one close, but the Huskies simply have too much talent. UConn -9.5.

I'm always in on Kentucky, and they almost never come through for me. Providence just doesn't have the size to stop Oscar Tshiebwe. Kentucky -3.5.

Drake jokes write themselves. This would be the perfect time for a Money in the Grave reference. I'll skip it. Drake +3.0.

This is one of the hardest games for me to pick. The NCAA tournament never makes any sense. Because nobody is talking about Gonzaga anymore, this will be the year they finally pull it off. They take on Grand Canyon in the first round. I learned this afternoon that the Grand Canyon mascot is the Antelopes. That's enough for me. Antelopes +15.

Florida Atlantic is one of those teams that people are going to pick, just based on their record. They're really undersized though, and Memphis has the length to bother them Memphis -3.0. I like this Memphis team a lot, and think they could make some noise just based on their defense. Not to look ahead, but Purdue really struggled with full-court pressure and Memphis has the athleticism to give them fits.

Kansas State has two great scorers in Markquis Nowell and Keyontae Johnson. They make great TV. That's enough for me to pick the Wildcats -7.0 against Montana State.

Trayce Jackson-Davis is one of my favorite players to watch. He's a great passer out of the post which is something I always appreciate. Kent State doesn't have the size to contain him, from what I've read. Hoosiers -4.5.

If you made it through all that, congratulations. You now have 32 winners for the first couple of rounds. If you want picks for the other four games that will be set after the play-ins, check my Twitter @Jake3Roy. You'll have to sift through the nonsense about some Red Sox reliever that will probably never even sniff the big leagues, but they'll be in there somewhere.